I can still remember to ragtag group of kids I belonged to when I was younger, we were so different and yet we were such great friends, most of us have gone our separate ways now, but the experiences we shared are still vivid in my mind, whether it was picking on our sisters, playing football, riding our bikes, or exploring the woods, we always semmed to be together and having fun.
“Alright the teams are going to be Steven and Tyler versus CJ and Timmy and I’ll be the all time QB,” Michael said in his usual authoritative tone. “But I wanna be on Tyler’s team, why do I always get stuck with Timmy?“ complained CJ. “Because you and Tyler are a lot faster and it wouldn’t be any fun,“ Michael explained, “now quit complaining, do you want laces or spaces?“ “Fine I guess I’ll take laces,“ CJ replied. With that Michael spun the ball as he tossed into the air, our version of a coin flip because we usually didn’t have a coin. After a few bounces and rolls the ball settled with the laces down, Tyler and me won the toss and elected to receive the ball first, since we didn’t have a halftime there was no point to kick the ball off at the beginning of the game.
Instead of kick the quarterback just threw the ball to the receiving team because we could throw the ball better than we could kick it. Michael threw the ball to me because I was slower and would be easier to catch but Tyler and me had already figured out how to beat this method. I lateraled the ball back to Tyler who followed behind me until I blocked the first defender to make it to us, and then he would take off down the field, our strategy worked and Tyler made it to midfield before getting tackled. Michael took his position at quarterback and me and Tyler lined up as receivers, “DOWN, SET, BLUE 42, BLUE 42, SET, HIKE!” Michael chanted, we had no idea what it meant but we had picked it up from some movie somewhere and it was how we began every play. Tyler and me went out for a pass, Tyler got a good jump on CJ and Michael threw him a pass for a touchdown in the end zone, a good start to the game.
The rest of the game went back and forth with most of the passes going to Tyler and CJ but Timmy and me would get make the occasional play and even touchdown every once awhile. Finally it was getting late and the score was tied so we decided that the next team to score would win. My team had the ball and it was fourth down, Michael called us all into a huddle “Alright, Tyler, you run about ten yards and do a slant to the end zone, and Steven, you run to the front of the end zone and then hook back in, you can probably run through Timmy for the last few yards if I throw it to you,” Michaels play calls were accompanied by intricate drawings in the dirt. Michael called hike and me and Tyler were off, CJ picked up on Tyler and had him covered all the way to the goal line, Timmy however thought I would go straight for the end zone and was caught off guard by my hook, Michael zipped the ball into me, I caught the pass and quickly turned around to run for the end zone, Timmy tried to tackle me but couldn’t get a grip and I shook him loose and scored the winning touchdown. Being that I usually had trouble even catching a pass I was elated to have won the game, CJ however was not in such a good mood over the outcome. “Timmy, you suck so much!” he screamed, “he wasn’t even in the end zone when he caught it, how could you not stop him!?” “It wasn’t my fault,“ Timmy argued, “you guys always blame, no matter what happens and I’m tired of it, I’m going home!” and with them Timmy stormed off back to his house. “Don’t worry about him CJ, he’ll be back tomorrow, we’re meeting at my house before we go out to the woods tomorrow,” said Michael. “Okay see you guys then” CJ replied. We all returned to our own homes for dinner and made sure to get plenty of sleep for our busy day ahead.
The next day we all met up at Michael’s and my house before our trip to the woods, our parents never really minded kids over at the house and were known as the “cool” parents because they were the least likely to say no to a sleepover or something like that so we more time was spent at our house than anyone else’s. “Hey guys we can’t stop at my house like usual, my mom said that if she catches us taking snacks again she’ll ground me.” CJ informed us. “Like you wouldn’t get grounded anyway, I swear you’re grounded more than you aren’t,” I said. “but don’t worry we get our snacks here today, my mom just went shopping.” We gathered a backpack full of Sunny D’s and fruit rollups and began to make our way to the woods, it was about fifteen or twenty acres that hadn’t been developed yet, a hard find in Florida. Just on the border of the highway was our tree fort, I’m not sure exactly how it came to be but a large oak tree was growing out of a crater of clay, it provided us with a cool shady place to rest and we couldn’t be seen from anywhere around.
“Okay so what are we doing today?” I asked. I was given the usual responses, hide and seek, fight with sticks, etc., but no one could agree on what to do. Then Tyler came up with an idea, “I know! We can see if we can make it all the way to the lake again!” “Yeah! We have done that in awhile.” I agreed. Everyone else was onboard too and so we made our way into the woods, Michael was in the lead of course with the rest of following behind. “Did I ever tell you guys about the time the crazy guy who owns these chassed me with a shotgun?” Michael said, trying to get a conversation going as tromped along our way. “Yeah, and we didn’t believe you then either .” “It’s true,” he retaliated “You can ask Greg he was there.”
“Whose Greg?” Tyler asked. “Oh, you don’t know him, he goes to a different school than we do.” “Oh imagine that,” I said sarcastically.” The only person that was with you is someone we’ve never heard. It’s like dad always says if your lips are moving you’re lying.”
Just then we came about a large obstacle in our path, a huge mass of vines about four feet tall and very wide. “Great how are we going to get around that?” Timmy grumbled. “It’s not that hard, we just have to crawl on our stomachs underneath. I’ll go first and you guys follow where I go.” Michael ordered. It was slow going, first Michael had to find the best way through and then we had to follow single file behind. There really wasn’t enough room and we were all getting cuts and scratches from the thorns that really stung, it probably would have been easier to go around, but it made us feel like soldiers crawling under barbed wire which made it fun. Eventually we made it to the other side and were on our way again, just that much closer to our destination.
We were making good time, there was an expanse of pine trees that grew in the forest and did provide much opposition to our trip. The dead pine trees were a lot of fun too because we could just kick them and they we fall over which made us feel like martial arts experts, it may have slowed us down but we didn’t care. Then we came upon a puddle about six feet wide with a log laying across it. “I dare you to walk across Steven” said Michael. Not being one to back down from a dare I carefully climbed onto the log and made my way across, it looked much hard than it was and I made it with ease. Not wanting to be shown up the rest of the gang was quick to follow and show that I wasn’t the only who could cross a log. Only slightly delayed we continued on our way.
We could tell we were getting close to the lake because the ground started to become soggy and we were sinking in as we walked, Timmy was having a difficult time maneuvering through it. “Timmy come on you’re slowing us down.” CJ called backed. “I can’t help it, my feet keep sinking in and I get stuck” he cried back. “Don’t put weight onto your foot until you’re sure the ground will support you, and make sure your shoe doesn’t come off or it’ll be full of mud for the rest of the day.” Tyler instructed him. With Tyler guiding Timmy we made I through the mud to where the cypress trees grew, the roots spread out and made the ground more supportive and we could walk more easily.
The water was coming into sight and I was looking for to relaxing and skipping some stones before heading back to the fort. “Everyone stop.” Michael called out. “What is it?” I asked. “ We’re almost there.” “There, laying on the shore, is that an alligator?” he replied. “ I can’t tell, it’s too far away to make out” I replied. We cautiously crept closer to what lay on the shore, we had all heard about how alligators can run really fast on land and we didn’t want to see if it was true. Once we got about ten yards away there was no doubt about it, it was an alligator and a big one, about ten or twelve feet long.. “What do we do?” I whispered. “That thing could eat us!” “Just calm down” Michael replied “It hasn’t seen us yet so we can just back away and it won’t even know we were here.” Slowly we began to make our way back the way we came, but someone was paying too much attention to the alligator and not where they were walking and stepped on a stick. In an instant the gator whirled around with its mouth open to face the noise. “RUN!!!” I’m not sure who yelled it but all of us listened. I don’t think I’ve ever run as fast as I did that day, we went so fast our feet didn’t even have time to sink in the mud. We ran by the puddle and the pine trees, too scared to even look back to see if we were being chased. I don’t even know how, but we got through the vines without even lying down, we made it back to the fort in five minutes flat when took us about forty-five minutes to make it there.
After we were done panting and catching our breath we were overcome by uncontrollable laughter. “HAHAHA, oh my god Steven, the look on you face was so funny!” Michael said. “I thought your eyes were going to pop out of your head!” “Oh yeah,” I replied. “Weren’t you the one screaming RUN! At the top of your lungs?” “That wasn’t me that wasn’t me, that was Timmy.” “Nuh-uh it wasn’t me” Timmy argued back. “Hey we were all running” Tyler said. “I don’t think any of us have any room to talk.” We all were overcome with laughter yet again, even though we had been running for our lives less than five minutes ago we couldn’t remember the last time we had so much fun.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Memoir rough draft
When I was younger I belonged to a very tight-knit group of kids from throughout my neighborhood and we would all hang out together and go exploring on weekends and during the summer. Michael, my older brother, always seemed to be in the lead of our little gang mainly due to the fact that he was the biggest, this is quite funny to look back at because now he is the smallest of those of us who are still in contact with one another. CJ was a very mischievous child, he always seemed to be in trouble for something and was definitely the bad apple of the group. Timothy, or Timmy as we called him was more sensitive to insults and the general ribbing that goes on between boys and so he always seemed to get mad at us and storm off home only to rejoin us the next day. Tyler was my best friend, short and scrawny but tough as nails, a stark contrast to the tall behemoth he has grown up to be, he always had a smile on his face and was up for an adventure. Then there was me, I was always along for our escapades but never really the leader, being less athletic than some of the others I seemed to shy away from the spotlight.
Being a group of adolescent we engaged in all the usual activities, racing bikes around the neighborhood, playing football, wrestling and what not, but from time to time we felt we needed to escape from our parents and go exploring in the woods adjacent to the neighborhood. It was not a very large expanse of land maybe 10 or 20 acres, but it was big enough for us. On a normal day we would hangout at a fort we had made at a tree that was inside a crater of clay, fighting with sticks and just being boys. We always had a great time and found so much fun in the fact that we thought we weren’t allowed to be there. My brother would always make up stories about how there was some crazy man who owned the property and told us about the time when the man had chased him with a shotgun and even though we all knew it was a lie we acted as if we believed him just to keep the sense of danger alive.
Usually we did not venture very far into the woods and kept close to the highway, but on occasion we would go deeper and sometimes make it all the way to the lake, and this was our destination on one particular Saturday. As usual we gathered at my house, sort of our de facto base of operations, we collected the necessary supplies(juice boxes, cracker, fruit snack, etc.) and were on our way. We hiked our way to the command post at the tree where we stopped to rest and partake in some of the snacks we had brought along. Once we were refreshed we set off into the woods in search of the lake, even though we had been there several times before we had no true path and usually just wandered in the general direction of where we wanted to go. As simple as this may sound it was no easy task, there were many treacherous obstacles along the way.
Our first obstruction was a mass of vines so thick that the only way to get through was to crawl on our bellies like soldiers, the sharp thorns scratching at our exposed arms and necks leaving a sharp stinging sensation, it was tough going but we forced our way through and made it to the other side. We were scratched up and a little bloody, but nothing could deter our mission. Next we came upon a large puddle about eight or nine feet wide with a log laying across it, sure we could have just walked around it but that would be no fun, so one by one we showed off our balancing skills by walking the log while keeping our feet dry. We were almost to our destination but the closer we came the harder it became, since the woods bordered a lakes the ground became more and more saturated with water the closer we came to the lake. We had to be very careful where we stepped, from time to time someone’s foot would sink into the mud and come back without a shoe, this was very unpleasant because after you retrieved your shoe you would have to spend the rest of the day with a wet foot.
Even after all the obstacles we were nearing our destination, we could just see the waterline just starting to appear from between the trees. As we drew closer to the lake we suddenly saw something on the shore, at first we thought is was just a log about ten feet long on the bank, but growing up in Florida we knew better than to assume a log was a log. We froze in our tracks, not sure if we had been scared by a harmless old piece of wood or if we might just be looking at a gator large enough to kill any one of us, slowly we crept forward to determine what it was. When we were about twenty feet from it one of the most frightening moments of my life occurred, the alligator suddenly turned and looked at us with its mouth wide open! That was enough for us and we ran away as fast as we possibly could, through the mud so fast we didn’t have time to sink, past the giant puddle, and somehow through the vines without even crawling on the ground, by the time we reached our tree fort we were bent over and panting for breathe. It took us about thirty or forty minutes and we had just made it back in less than five. After we caught our breathe we began to laugh and kid about the look on each others faces when we saw the gator and of course Michael had to tell us about the time he had seen one twice that size, of course he was with a friend of his none of us had ever heard of before.
Being a group of adolescent we engaged in all the usual activities, racing bikes around the neighborhood, playing football, wrestling and what not, but from time to time we felt we needed to escape from our parents and go exploring in the woods adjacent to the neighborhood. It was not a very large expanse of land maybe 10 or 20 acres, but it was big enough for us. On a normal day we would hangout at a fort we had made at a tree that was inside a crater of clay, fighting with sticks and just being boys. We always had a great time and found so much fun in the fact that we thought we weren’t allowed to be there. My brother would always make up stories about how there was some crazy man who owned the property and told us about the time when the man had chased him with a shotgun and even though we all knew it was a lie we acted as if we believed him just to keep the sense of danger alive.
Usually we did not venture very far into the woods and kept close to the highway, but on occasion we would go deeper and sometimes make it all the way to the lake, and this was our destination on one particular Saturday. As usual we gathered at my house, sort of our de facto base of operations, we collected the necessary supplies(juice boxes, cracker, fruit snack, etc.) and were on our way. We hiked our way to the command post at the tree where we stopped to rest and partake in some of the snacks we had brought along. Once we were refreshed we set off into the woods in search of the lake, even though we had been there several times before we had no true path and usually just wandered in the general direction of where we wanted to go. As simple as this may sound it was no easy task, there were many treacherous obstacles along the way.
Our first obstruction was a mass of vines so thick that the only way to get through was to crawl on our bellies like soldiers, the sharp thorns scratching at our exposed arms and necks leaving a sharp stinging sensation, it was tough going but we forced our way through and made it to the other side. We were scratched up and a little bloody, but nothing could deter our mission. Next we came upon a large puddle about eight or nine feet wide with a log laying across it, sure we could have just walked around it but that would be no fun, so one by one we showed off our balancing skills by walking the log while keeping our feet dry. We were almost to our destination but the closer we came the harder it became, since the woods bordered a lakes the ground became more and more saturated with water the closer we came to the lake. We had to be very careful where we stepped, from time to time someone’s foot would sink into the mud and come back without a shoe, this was very unpleasant because after you retrieved your shoe you would have to spend the rest of the day with a wet foot.
Even after all the obstacles we were nearing our destination, we could just see the waterline just starting to appear from between the trees. As we drew closer to the lake we suddenly saw something on the shore, at first we thought is was just a log about ten feet long on the bank, but growing up in Florida we knew better than to assume a log was a log. We froze in our tracks, not sure if we had been scared by a harmless old piece of wood or if we might just be looking at a gator large enough to kill any one of us, slowly we crept forward to determine what it was. When we were about twenty feet from it one of the most frightening moments of my life occurred, the alligator suddenly turned and looked at us with its mouth wide open! That was enough for us and we ran away as fast as we possibly could, through the mud so fast we didn’t have time to sink, past the giant puddle, and somehow through the vines without even crawling on the ground, by the time we reached our tree fort we were bent over and panting for breathe. It took us about thirty or forty minutes and we had just made it back in less than five. After we caught our breathe we began to laugh and kid about the look on each others faces when we saw the gator and of course Michael had to tell us about the time he had seen one twice that size, of course he was with a friend of his none of us had ever heard of before.
Memo
To: Professor Moody
From: Steven Vroman
Date: 9/15/09
RE: Peer Review
The peer review helped me to realize that while my opening paragraph was structurally sound and gave descriptions of the characters involved in my story, however, I did so in way that was bland and did not get the reader interested in the story very well. A way to fix this problem would be to incorporate a small anecdote at the beginning of the story that can both introduce the characters and keep readers interested, perhaps have us all playing a game of football together and describe who is playing at what position, sort of like player stats. I also realized that my story seems to be told from the third person and not as a first person point of view, I need to incorporate dialogue to give the reader a sense of being within the story, as it is now I seem to be telling the story as an observer instead of a character. I also need to relate more to the reader, incorporate some situation that most people have experienced and have some sort of opinion on and express my own opinion, this can give the reader more insight into who I am as a person and how they would feel about me were they to meet me in real life and give them for of an emotional attachment to the story. My story also requires some more action in order to give the feeling that it is moving somewhere, there is no point in knowing who the characters are if they aren’t doing anything, instead of simply stating my character’s attributes I should probably place them in a situation that displays who they are through their actions and words. I also need a little more detail in describing where my story takes place, this will give the reader as to where the characters in the story are and what is going on. The peer review also helped me because I got to read another writer’s style and reflect upon how it is different from m own, this helped me to see how others might perceive my writing style and how I can approve upon it, this peer review will help me to fix flaws in my writing and improve my memoir as a whole.
From: Steven Vroman
Date: 9/15/09
RE: Peer Review
The peer review helped me to realize that while my opening paragraph was structurally sound and gave descriptions of the characters involved in my story, however, I did so in way that was bland and did not get the reader interested in the story very well. A way to fix this problem would be to incorporate a small anecdote at the beginning of the story that can both introduce the characters and keep readers interested, perhaps have us all playing a game of football together and describe who is playing at what position, sort of like player stats. I also realized that my story seems to be told from the third person and not as a first person point of view, I need to incorporate dialogue to give the reader a sense of being within the story, as it is now I seem to be telling the story as an observer instead of a character. I also need to relate more to the reader, incorporate some situation that most people have experienced and have some sort of opinion on and express my own opinion, this can give the reader more insight into who I am as a person and how they would feel about me were they to meet me in real life and give them for of an emotional attachment to the story. My story also requires some more action in order to give the feeling that it is moving somewhere, there is no point in knowing who the characters are if they aren’t doing anything, instead of simply stating my character’s attributes I should probably place them in a situation that displays who they are through their actions and words. I also need a little more detail in describing where my story takes place, this will give the reader as to where the characters in the story are and what is going on. The peer review also helped me because I got to read another writer’s style and reflect upon how it is different from m own, this helped me to see how others might perceive my writing style and how I can approve upon it, this peer review will help me to fix flaws in my writing and improve my memoir as a whole.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Memoir First Paragraph
When I was younger I belonged to a very tight-knit group of kids from throughout my neighborhood and we would all hang out together and go exploring on weekends and during the summer. Michael, my older brother, always seemed to be in the lead of our little gang mainly due to the fact that he was the biggest, this is quite funny to look back at because now he is the smallest of those of us who are still in contact with one another. CJ was a very mischievous child, he always seemed to be in trouble for something and was definitely the bad apple of the group. Timothy, or Timmy as we called him was more sensitive to insults and the general ribbing that goes on between boys and so he always seemed to get mad at us and storm off home only to rejoin us the next day. Tyler was my best friend, short and scrawny but tough as nails a stark contrast to the tall behemoth he has grown up to be, he always had a smile on his face and was up for an adventure. Then there was me, I was always along for our escapades but never really the leader, being less athletic than some of the others I seemed to shy away from the spotlight.
Memoir Brain Storming
Group of friends:
Michael: leader, biggest
CJ: always in trouble
Timmy: easily upset, mad at us a lot
Tyler: best friend, small, always full of energy
Me: always follower never leader, less athletic than some of the others
Michael: leader, biggest
CJ: always in trouble
Timmy: easily upset, mad at us a lot
Tyler: best friend, small, always full of energy
Me: always follower never leader, less athletic than some of the others
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Memoir Invention
Clinton Scandal, Bush v. Gore missing votes, 9/11, Statue of Saddam being torn down, not finding WMDs.
Being sick at grandma’s house and watching the Iraqi people tear down a statue of Saddam Hussein with the help of U.S soldiers.
This event helped me see how the Iraqi people did not like Saddam Hussein and viewed the American soldiers as liberators.
Being at school and having our teacher tell us about how terrorists had hijacked plane and crashed them into the twin towers and the pentagon.
Showed me that the world is not as nice or safe as I had once thought it was, also how a nation can come together to support one another after a terrible tragedy.
Walking through the woods with my friends and finding an alligator.
Showed me how sometimes its fun to be scared and that things seem more fun than scary later on.
Being sick at grandma’s house and watching the Iraqi people tear down a statue of Saddam Hussein with the help of U.S soldiers.
This event helped me see how the Iraqi people did not like Saddam Hussein and viewed the American soldiers as liberators.
Being at school and having our teacher tell us about how terrorists had hijacked plane and crashed them into the twin towers and the pentagon.
Showed me that the world is not as nice or safe as I had once thought it was, also how a nation can come together to support one another after a terrible tragedy.
Walking through the woods with my friends and finding an alligator.
Showed me how sometimes its fun to be scared and that things seem more fun than scary later on.
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